NHL Summer Reading List

"So I tell Carkner, Oh yeah?
Well you don't even know
the basic principle behind
quantum mechanics!"

Only 56 days until the season opener, but who's counting? Probably not the players listed below, because they're too preoccupied catching up on those books they've been wanting to read. Here's the reading list for some of your favorite NHL players and teams from this summer...

Martin St. Louis - The Little Engine that Could

Kyle Wellwood - The Hunger Games, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Who Moved My Cheese?

Brad Richards - Great Expectations

Nikolai Zherdev - The Giving Tree

Vancouver Canucks - A Series of Unfortunate Events

Daniel Carcillo - The Ugly Duckling

Dan Bylsma - So, you want to be a stanley cup and Jack Adams winning Coach in the NHL? A guide for young fourth liners.

Mats Zuccarello Aasen - Every J.R.R Tolkein book that has ever been written

Roberto Luongo - Holes

Trevor Gillies - How to Read Literature Like a Professor: A Lively and Entertaining Guide to Reading Between the Lines

Evander Kane - A Tale of Two Cities

Edmonton Oilers - The Chronicles of Sarnia: Prince Yakupov

Semyon Varlamov - Caps for Sale

Jaromir Jagr - Oh the Places You'll Go

John Tavares - Fodor's Guide Book to Brooklyn

Keep Your Head Up - Best Hits from '10-'11 Season

Well it's August, quite possibly the most boring time of the year for hockey fans. I've run out of comedic material so I'm just going to compile a list of the top clean hits from the 2010-2011 NHL season (although I guess some of these could be considered comedic anyways). Let me know if you agree with the rankings / if you disagree with the rankings / if you think I'm missing any big ones / if you enjoy long walks on the beach ... in the comments section below:

11. Marc Staal on Wellwood (Honorable Mention)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dc4K_gl5ICU#t=00m03s
This hit is impressive when you consider the fact that Wellwood has at least an 100-pound advantage on Staal.

10. Rome on Smid (Vancouver Hipcheck #4)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGRQFjhZanM
Rome starts off the Vancouver hipcheck highlights.

9. Ovechkin on Subban
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Fp_Hg9z2rc
Would've been ranked higher, but it wasn't really a hit as much as it was Subban trying to play leap frog.

8. Ballard on Miller (Vancouver Hipcheck #3)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoqPLIhykXA
At first glance there doesn't appear to be much here, but then you realize it's an open ice hip check. Miller can clearly see Ballard, the boards aren't there to use as leverage, and Ballard still up-ends him.

7. Hamhuis on Murray (Vancouver Hipcheck #2)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q599OC7UM-4&feature=related
Douglas Murray is listed as 6'3", 240 lbs. Just sayin'. It should be noted now that this wasn't even Vancouver's best hipcheck of the year.

6. Doughty on Hall
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6oj0JGQpgY
To Hall's credit: he picked his head up after the hit.

5. Phaneuf on Ruutu
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pkpbxl36Cb8#t=00m20s
It was a tough decision of which Phaneuf hit to feature on this list... until I saw this one.

4. Ballard on McGinn (Vancouver Hipcheck #1)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhrtvlVlVJQ
Topping the Vancouver hipcheck rankings. From the crowd's reaction you'd think the game was in Vancouver.

3. Subban on Marchand
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Rpk0JlVZ4I#t=00m02s
I'm not sure if you can classify this as an open-ice hipcheck.

2. Staal on Stajan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qHibz-pZ0o
Sure, you could argue there's a Rangers bias in these rankings, but try telling that to Matt Stajan.

1. Tootoo on Frolik

NHL Players Summer Workout Routines

As the summer begins to slowly wind down and training camps continue to near, it's interesting to see how players around the league have been staying in shape. Some have hired personal trainers while others chose to work out with their friends and teammates. With various roles and positions to fill, players have been focusing their attention all summer (for Islanders' players: since last November) on the specific set of skills they are hoping to develop and improve. Here's some insight into what your favorite players/teams have been working on this summer...

Evgeni Malkin
Malkin has reportedly spent his entire summer thus far in Russia, continuing to recover from a nagging knee injury that ended his 2010-2011 prematurely. His workout consists of repeatedly juggling a ball over a hurdle while the Penguins strength coach, Mike Kadar, sits there laughing at the fact that the Penguins are paying him to essentially... do nothing.

Martin St. Louis
Upon seeing the video from Malkin's "training sessions", Tampa Bay Lightning forward Martin St. Louis released footage of his own workout techniques... Tough to tell who has been working harder in the offseason, Malkin or St. Louis...



Pittsburgh Penguins
state-of-the-art training center

 Pittsburgh Penguins
While Malkin was over in Russia doing his own thing this summer, the Penguins organization purchased a brand-new, multi-million dollar training facility. Penguins owner Mario Lemieux reported that he specifically installed an additional training apparatus 10 meters above the state-of-the-art training surface for star-forward Sidney Crosby.

Nashville Predators

Learned how to play defense against the toe-drag.

- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzdCWAgxams 

(Note the commentating: "almost always the way it goes when you play against a well-schooled defensive team like nashville")

- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hwLhWZmRWk

John Carlson

Learned how to play defense.

- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDJjPZS6HxM

Matt Cooke
Practiced his turtling techniques for anytime Evander Kane is on the ice.

Alexander Ovechkin
Strictly followed the Kyle Wellwood diet.

Paul Bissonnette
Focused on strengthening his fingers for his twitter updates while watching the regular season from the Phoenix press box (not hating on the guy, I'd love to make $600,000 a year to watch hockey).

Alexander Semin
Improved his bongo playing skills.

Keith Ballard
Sharpened the defensive subtleties in his game. Tasks included: improving his forward-skating ability for when opposing forwards breeze past him, and learning to forgive your goaltender for allowing a goal.

NHL Online Shop

I don't know if anybody has noticed, but this summer the NHL Online Store has some great deals going on. They've got all the gear and accessories that a crazed hockey fan could want. For those who don't have the time to peruse their website, I'll feature some of the items they have available...

Washington Capitals "Vintage" T-Shirt
- Now you can impress your hockey-fan friends by pretending to know the Capitals existed before 2005.

New York Islanders Golf Putting Practice Green
- Practice like the pros!!! Dads: this is a great training tool to give to your son if he hopes to play for the Islanders organization one day.

The Matt Cooke Defender™
- Tired of sitting innocently on your couch, watching the game with a few friends before Matt Cooke comes from your blind side and delivers a punishing elbow to your noggin... causing you to spill your popcorn and leaving you in a motionless heap on your living room floor with a concussion that will sideline you for the remainder of the season? Quell your fears with the Matt Cooke Defender™!!!

Hose
- Useful for watering plants, cleaning cars, resurfacing ice, and/or dousing burning objects. (Express shipping available to Vancouver)



Noise Cancelling Headphones
- Have the misfortune of watching your favorite team on NBC? Now you can enjoy watching hockey again with these noise cancelling headphones capable of drowning out even the most asinine Mike Milbury comments.

"Get Your Damn Finger Outta My Mouth, Patrice" Alexandre Burrows Autographed Pacifier
- Perfect to solve your toddler's teething problems.

"Bite Me Burrows" Patrice Bergeron Autographed Foam Finger
- Taunt players and fans of the opposing team by directly inserting it into their mouths.









Sean Avery's Sloppy Seconds
- Ever wonder what it feels like to be the Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs? Or to come in second place in more ways than one? Well now you can feel those emotions first-hand!

Get Out of Jail Free Card
- Use this card to avoid a penalty or suspension when your defenseman rides a helpless forward into the boards (or stanchion) resulting in serious injury. Also enables your goaltender to tackle opposing forwards without any consequences. (Shipping only available to Boston)

Teemu Selanne
- 41 year old, 6'0", 196 lb right handed winger. Durable, athletic, prolific goal scorer with a Hall of Fame career. Guaranteed to help you win that coveted Tier 5 Men's League Championship or your money back.

Stanley Cup
- Own a piece of hockey history by ordering Lord Stanley's Cup! (Due to warehouse problems, this item cannot be shipped to Edmonton for at least 3-4 more years)

Rangers Facebook Feed

Brad Richards' twitter account wasn't the only thing that got "hacked". Apparently Jim Dolan snuck into my house, used my computer to check his facebook, and then forgot to log off. At the risk of having Dolan shut down my internet services, I've decided to share the highly confidential Rangers Organization news feed with you. (Props to DGB for the idea).

	The New York Rangers have joined the group NHL Offseason. April 23, 2011
	Vinny Prospal, Alexander Frolov, Bryan McCabe, and Steve Eminger  have left the New York Rangers network. April 23, 2011
	John Tortorella updated his status: "Time to enjoy a nice, quiet vacation." April 23, 2011 Larry Brooks likes this.
	Glen Sather has become a fan of Brad Richards. April 26, 2011
	Glen Sather sent a friend request to Brad Richards. April 26, 2011
	John Tortorella updated his status: "Off to Hawaii." April 28, 2011 Larry Brooks likes this.
	Glen Sather poked Brad Richards. April 29, 2011
	John Tortorella updated his status: "Cabo!!!" May 10, 2011 Larry Brooks likes this. John Tortorella Brooksie, you were probably beat up at the bus stop as a kid... Larry Brooks You think so?
	Glen Sather poked Brad Richards. May 15, 2011
	Glen Sather poked Brad Richards. May 20, 2011
	Glen Sather poked Brad Richards. May 20, 2011
	Glen Sather poked Brad Richards. May 25, 2011
	Tim Erixon and a 5th Round Draft Pick have joined the New York Rangers network. June 1, 2011 Michael Del Zotto does not like this.
	Glenn Sather gave $3,335,000.00 to Chris Drury. June 10, 2011
	Larry Brooks has posted a note: Top 5 Reasons to not sign Richards. June 15, 2011 Nobody likes this.
	J.T. Miller joined the New York Rangers network. June 24, 2011 Bobby Sanguinetti, Hugh Jessiman, Jamie Lundmark and Pavel Brendl like this. J.T. Miller Who the heck are you guys? Pavel Brendl Don't worry about it.
	Larry Brooks has posted a note: Scathing article about signing Richards. June 27, 2011 Nobody likes this.
	Larry Brooks has posted a note: 10 MORE REASONS NOT TO SIGN RICHARDS!!11!!!. June 30, 2011 Nobody likes this.
	Mike Rupp has joined the New York Rangers network. July 1, 2011 John Tortorella Glen, I thought we agreed we were going after players we actually need... Glen Sather Oops... Workin' on it John.
	Larry Brooks has posted a note: Reminder: I'm totally against signing Richards. July 1, 2011
	Brad Richards has joined the New York Rangers network. July 2, 2011 Rangers fans and Larry Brooks like this. John Tortorella Glen... Glen Sather What?!! John Tortorella Just kidding! Love it!!!
	Larry Brooks has become a fan of Brad Richards. July 3, 2011
	Larry Brooks has posted a note: Signing Richards was the best idea I ever had. July 10, 2011
	Larry Brooks has joined the group Hockey media members with no credibility. July 10, 2011 Everyone (especially Mike Milberry) likes this.
	Henrik Lundqvist was tagged in a photo from the album Weird Swedish Wedding Traditions. July, 15 2011 Henrik Zetterberg likes this.